Personal thoughts on some recent hue & cry. (If you haven't heard about it, doesn't really matter.)

[amanuensis1]

Why do nudists advocate nudism?

It's not, I hope, because that way they get to LOOK AT NEKKID PEOPLE ZOMG. It's because they think the cultural taboos on nudity are silly. Who decided what body parts we must cover up? Why are bare buttocks obscene, and bare feet are just feet? Why do some cultures think it's immodest to expose one's hair? Are certain parts sexual only because we've fetishized them to be so? Do we like it better because we have?

If these parts were not taboo, would it be taboo to touch them? To exist in a polite society we have a standard that people are generally not touched without their consent. But we seek that consent often. We extend our hands for others to take them and shake them. We open our arms and lean in for a hug. During meaningful conversation, we seek to deepen communication by reaching to touch one's arm, one's shoulder. We are a society that does touch and considers it acceptable to do so as long as the other person sees it coming, does not withdraw or speak against it, and as long as the touch is on a body part not considered taboo.

So what if we took the taboo off body parts?

If I were out in public with you and you were someone I knew and trusted and you ran your fingers through my hair, I would be in touch-related ecstasy. I would sigh, "Ooh, do that some more," and if you continued, no one would run over and arrest us. They might think we're odd, but because you are not touching a body part considered naughty or dirty, we could have a field day. Fondle my breast or buttock or genitals in public, however, even if they're covered with clothing, and there will be cries of, "Stop that! There are children here! You can't do that in public! Etc.!" Why is that obscene, but the other is not?

If I proposed that we do a social experiment where we treated the public touching of sexual body parts with the same politeness we do non-sexual body parts, would people think that was interesting? Refreshing, liberating? They might. Could there be disapproval? What about people who did not want to participate? Would they fear I might label them as "hopelessly stuck in society's arbitrary rules," and be unhappy at such negative labelling? Might people think I just wanted to get my hands on their naughty bits?

They might. I would be hesitant to propose such an experiment.

Comments

[geneticallydead.livejournal.com]

On a side note, from what I've picked up on the fringes of BDSM society, there is a definite thought about lack of consent from innocent bystanders. So say myself and my dominant/submissive/ponyboy/whatever are walking down the street in full latex with a leash on, ordering each other about. Innocent bystanders have not given their consent to be involved in what is essentially mine and my partners fetish/exhibitionist fantasy/roleplaying scenario at that time. If we're parading down the street as part of a scene together, then we are involving those innocent bystanders simply through their observation, without gaining their consent.

Frankly, I don't want to see other people touching each other up. And if I'm in a situation where I cannot possibly avoid seeing this, I'm involved. I don't care if they've decided to set aside social taboos and have decided on a polite policy of touching. To me, it will appear to be some kind of sex or sex-related act. And I don't want to see it. I haven't consented to seeing that. When we go see a movie, we're warned by the rating system if there's nudity or sexual conduct, and we consent to seeing that by staying in the cinema.

To me, such public demonstrations are not by nature obscene. It's the fact that I would have to see it. What adults do behind closed doors is just fine, but doing that kind of thing out in public is involving others against their will by the fact of their observation.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

That's a big problem at some SF/F conventions: people in full leather regalia walking other people around on leashes and in their underwear, and when someone complains because they're uncomfortable or their kids are getting an eyeful the fetish folk cry, "We're in costume!" As more than one program book rules section has put it, Nudity Is Not A Costume.