In case there was any doubt.

[amanuensis1]

Ghost Rider is the worst movie ever. One can only reach this level of disappointment by being a fan of the original source material, and I was collecting old Ghost Rider comics in my teens and quoting "Mortal fool" at tiresome mundane peers, so I've got a lot of disappointment to plumb, but my GOD. When the thing starts out cheesy but no worse than any comic book film you've seen--even looking like potentially cheesy fun that's following the original story kinda--but then gets awful when Nicolas Cage shows up (worse! A film that gets worse when Nicolas Cage shows up! Are there any other films out there that do that?!) (*genuine Nicolas Cage fan*), and then, THEN, when the cgi version of the Ghost Rider shows up, makes you scream, "Oh my GOD please bring back the merely shitty Nicolas Cage level!", and then it does and you're screaming, "Nooooo, put back the other version, I changed my mind, gahhhhhhh!"--okay, that is a level of suckitude I haven't seen since...well, since Revenge of the Sith, pretty recently I guess.

Wow. So bad you can't even MSTy it for laughing so hard. Thank god I had zero expectations to begin with.

*amuses self through rest of DVD with the occasional shot of prettydemonboy Wes Bentley*

Comments

[filimonovna.livejournal.com]

I didn't like it either, though I've never seen the original comics. The movie was just... ew.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

It's hideous. Stupid. The dialogue has me wailing. I haven't heard dialogue this stupid since Cliffhanger.

[maddiec24.livejournal.com]

I never read the comics, but my husband did. We were both hugely disappointed. The dialogue... *shudder* Sam Elliot was the bright spot for me.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Except that he shows up and I'm all, "Bzuh?? Okay, the Ghost Rider has the power to GO BACK IN TIME? What the hell is Old Prospector in Old Prospector Town doing here??"

[kaiz.livejournal.com]

I confess that I missed that one. Couldn't manage to convince le spouse that it was sufficient, mindless cheesy mayhem and I didn't to go by myself. Sounds like I didn't miss anything! Alas, Sam Elliot and Nicholas Cage!

For another 'good', truly mind-defyingly bad movie, if you haven't already, you simply must check out Manos: the Hands of Fate. It's worth it just for the 'hell-hound' and the OMGLESBIAN pillow fight.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

WOMAN! I have Manos ICONS! Do not think I am ignorant of the mighty King of Cheese Films! :D

"No, no, love should be musty and hurtful."

[kaiz.livejournal.com]

ICONS!!!!! No fair!!!! *lusts*

[athenakt.livejournal.com]

Woo to Manos! It was utterly amusing when at Dragon*Con we found a guy wearing a Manos costume- black robes, red hands and all! I took a picture for posterity but must needs synch up my camera when I get home. Ask and I shall try posting it.

Love to the fact that there were a number of people commenting with knowledge upon seeing that costume. *snorfle*

As to Ghost Rider- woe. I haven't been able to see the movie yet, but to hear it was horrific makes me wonder if the actors might have felt the same about their lines as John Malkovich must have in Eragon. ;)

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Oh, god, I just watched the Rifftrax of Eragon not too long ago--how on earth I'd've managed to sit through that one without the Rifftrax, I can't imagine.

I made Manos Ken and Barbie once. ^_^ Still have the pictures.

[kaiz.livejournal.com]

BTW, perhaps you've hit upon a new movie rating scheme: RotS units.

"Well, Bob, that movie was so bad I'd give it three Revenge of the Siths."

"No way! It wasn't *that* bad, Ted. It was only one-and-a-half at most!"

[neotoma.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure the unit of measurement is 'Attack of the Clones'. *That* was a terribly movie -- when the high point of the movie involves Ewan McGregor soakin wet and *not* taking his clothes off, you know it's bad...

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Crazy as it may sound, I actually don't hate Attack of the Clones nearly as much as the other two. It has the same bad directing of the actors and the dreadful script (*shudders at memory of that "I don't like sand" line*) but the plot actually has pacing and is coherent (no trade embargos, no prophecy dreams).

[kaiz.livejournal.com]

LOL! Maybe there is some kind of exchange rate. 1 RotS = 1.3 AotC? And yeah, what up with EMcG not taking his clothes off in the prequels? Ratings be damned, he drops trou in nearly every one of his movies for except these!

[neotoma.livejournal.com]

I think it was a minor miracle -- or maybe he decided this was one of his movies he wanted to take his daughters to, since he has done voice work for children's animated movies as well.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

*giggles like mad* I probably need to adapt that one. The right people will get it! :D

[kaiz.livejournal.com]

OMG ICONS. You have ICONS.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

OF COURSE I have icons. MST3K is the greatest show ever. There isn't a week that goes by that I don't watch at least 2-3 MST3K episodes, and usually more.

[jedilora.livejournal.com]

THANKS.

I just snorted tea&lemonade all over my screen. Because I have seen GR, and oh my lord, YES.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

*hands you hankie for screen* It's like...watching a bad stripper! You yell, "C'mon, take your clothes off!" and when s/he does you're yelling, "Forget it, put them back ON!"

[meredyth-13.livejournal.com]

From one Nicolas Cage fan to another *wails* - this was one time when his somewhat eccentric take on a character really didn't do anything to contribute towards viewing pleasure - but you're right, aside from some pretty shiny (I'm easily distracted) - about all I could do was sit there and landmark spot - cause it was filmed here in Melb, and you know... there's nothing like walking across the footbridge and remembering that some dinky ghost parked his bike up there - we're still not too sure why, but ours is not to reason why the methods of dinky ghosts, yeah?

*send hugs of sympathy*

btw - I still have an original Revenge of the Jedi poster - yep... Revenge. I know they're not that rare, but whenever someone writes RotS I have to stop for a minute and remember that they did actually name two films the same, and then change one, because GL sucketh, damn his eyes.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

I revere GL for what he did get right with the first 3 SW films. But when Grampa goes senile you don't let him make MOVIES any longer; you pat his hand and make sure he's comfortable. George needed a lot of hand-patting instead of that camera, past ten years.

[meredyth-13.livejournal.com]

I feel blasphemous, because I worshipped the guy from the age of 11 - to my late 20s. But then he got the fiddle bug... and so went my respect. And interviews with him in later years just reinforced that feeling. It makes me sad. I liked it better when I adored him - because he gave me the movie that changed and saved my life (no real exaggeration, because it got me through my teen years when my world fell apart). And I was real fond of the other two as well - I mean... hell, they got me my first job working in the film industry, and were the reason I made the friends I did, and still have, and the reason I read and write fanfic, and ... actually - they're the reason I have my partner too.

ARgh... sorry, you didn't need all that. But yeah, my love for the original movies no longer is enough to sustain my GL adoration. At least he finally allowed us to have the original, original versions on disc. For that I will thank him.

I may still have my original Leia dress packed away, and the lightsabre my grandfather made for me... hopeless case. ;)

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

"The fiddle bug"! Oh, that's perfect! If I ever get that, I hope someone will slap me. Seriously, DO NOT APOLOGIZE, I am the same way. Star Wars got me hooked on Science Fiction. And I bought two of the cool light-and-special-effects lightsabers the other year myself. ^_^

[askani.livejournal.com]

i watched GR on a website and im so glad i didnt bother to rent it. it was entertaining in a bad way, i liked the beginning the most. lol.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Yes! The beginning had the potential to be entertaining comic-book fodder. And then they blew even that tiny toehold. ^_^

[dixiebell12.livejournal.com]

I will agree with you the movie sucked but the song was awesome. I just can't believe they didn't put it on the soundtrack. It took me forever to find the damn thing.

Hugs
Dixiebell

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

DO YOU HAVE IT?? Do you know within thirty seconds of hearing that cover of Ghost Riders in the Sky over the closing credits, I was off hunting for it! And learned it wasn't on the soundtrack! And learned it was by a group called Spiderbait! And learned that it wasn't commercially available! And all the friendly people who had links to a copy of the mp3 had links all out of date! Seriously, do you have it???

[dixiebell12.livejournal.com]

Yeah I sure do! Here's my email, send me yours and I forward you a copy
Dixiebell12@yahoo.com

Hugs
Dixiebell

[dixiebell12.livejournal.com]

Sorry it's taking so long. I'm an idiot, I've been trying to send it and couldn't figure out what was wrong. I have a game called ghost hunter and I was trying to send you that by mistake.

It wouldn't work on my yahoo email, so I used yousendit. Let me know if it worked.
Hugs
Dixiebell

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

I got it! I am so HAPPY! Thank you so much! :D

[draconianangel.livejournal.com]

I don't like it too, but at least I finished it (though it must be because I was coerced into watching it in a movie theater). Now Hellboy... that's nasty. I just couldn't finish it. :\

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

I didn't hate Hellboy! Now, I knew absolutely nothing about the source material on that one, so, I dunno if that helped.

[capri-chan.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes, I always think of Brian Clevinger's advice when this movie is mentioned. "The best thing to do if you're going to see 'Ghost Rider' is to see any other movie."

I, personally, haven't seen it, though. And if I do, I'm glad to say I wasn't a fan of the source material. I've been disappointed enough by Ella Enchanted already, and I'm terrified about the next Resident Evil movie. God, Wesker's in there, and I'm scared they'll ruin his awesomeness by turning him into some inept corporate villain. Or worse, make him one of those guys that regrets what he's done and turns good. I'm throroughly convinced the only reason he didn't take the extra five seconds to snap Chris's neck in Code Veronica X (besides the fact that Chris is a main character that we're supposed to like more than the villain) is because he was suddenly in a hurry because of Alexia, and he wanted to kill Chris slowly so he could enjoy his death. Because he hates Chris that much.

But Ella Enchanted is another story altogether. My God, I don't think they could have enraged me more if they had tried. Cary Elwes is in it, which is almost always good. Sadly, he plays a character that doesn't exist in the book, so that kind of negates his awesomeness. Come on, it's fucking Cinderella with ogres and a spell that makes her obey every command given to her even if it kills her! WE DON'T NEED AN EVIL UNCLE! And Slannen's a minor character, and they give him a main character role and NO DIGNITY. I mean, come on, SINGING Elves?! And Mandy's suddenly inept. The book is just a magic book. It's not a fucking character.

And I think there was more, but I've blocked some of the movie from my mind because I hate it that much.

And it's so nice to type that out, because I'm sure everyone I know is tired of hearing about it from me, but I now have a new audience to rant to! :D

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Go right ahead and rant! :D I felt pretty unhappy about Ella Enchanted too; dumb movie. With three actresses I love, darnit! So much stupid in it. Do you know a plot element that really pisses me off in a story? The whole "I've tried and tried and failed but now, in this moment when it really matters, I'll really really try and get it right THIS TIME." That's pretty much how I felt about Mandy trying to turn the book back into her boyfriend. That kind of plot element works if it's actually based on something happening in that moment--like sudden anger or insight--but not mere "I'll really really try this time." That's just plain lame.

[xxbulletwingsxx.livejournal.com]

Ans the worst thing for me? I work at a DVD rental stored and I've actually begged customers not to rent it. They'll never get that time back and oh, they'll wish they could.

Christ, there's only so much you can say for a movie where the main lead is outacted by his own motorcycle.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

I can just see you at the counter! "Oh, no. Oh, look, just don't. You'll be sorry. Please don't do this to yourselves; you look like nice people."

[xxbulletwingsxx.livejournal.com]

And they never listen. =(


Now, Pan's Labyrinth. That was a hell of a good movie.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

I just finished watching that! Clever, clever film! Loved the ending.

[xxbulletwingsxx.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the ending was fantastic because you don't know if she's dying and the whole thing was simply a fantasy to help her deal with her life, or if in fact, it was true, (I prefer to believe this. =P) and she's in a much better place.

Y'know, I've never met a single person that didn't enjoy that film. Everyone I asked about it, or recommended it to raved about it. You can't say that about many films.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

All the performances are so good! And it's such a grim film, even with the enchanting touches.

[twigged.livejournal.com]

Nicholas Cage used to be one of my favorite actors, but all his movies of the past 15 years have been utter shite.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

I usually like watching him even if the movie is cheese, but I could hardly bear to look at anything in this film. Granted, I haven't seen the sort of movies that Nicolas Cage makes, these days, in a long time. A looooooong time.

[xingou.livejournal.com]

I agree with you 100%. (Even with the being a genuine Cage fan.) this movie saddened me immensely.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

I'll go read my Ghost Rider comics and take the taste from my mouth. And then watch Raising Arizona for some good Nic Cage!