My very first thought was...

[amanuensis1]

...that someone needs to write me slash about these two ladies. ^_^

Comments

[nattish.livejournal.com]

Is that guard there to protect the books or to make sure the box lady doesn't peek? Eeep, so close yet so far! :)

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

I think she's there for both reasons. I'm imagining their conversation and sort of hoping the two ended up going for coffee to talk about it more, y'know?

[elinevere.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, just how many books a box, and how many boxes??? *drools*

Is that a guard watching the toher woman so she can't sneak a peek at the books in secret?

[elinevere.livejournal.com]

*other* woman...

[miints.livejournal.com]

omg O_O MY BOOK IS IN THERE SOMEWHERE

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Isn't it boss? *dances*

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

And it goes a little something like this...

Ah, the firey resentment that begins their relationship, between the one who does all the work and that new facist bitch who just stands and watches her like she can't be trusted, when she's been doing this job for a decade!

Then, you know, things thaw over an unexpected period and an emergency lend of a tampon, and they realise, hey, we're all just doing our jobs, and we're both human after all.

And they make jokes about the books, and the guard admits she's a Potter fan after all, and that, hey, did you know that they write homoerotic fic about that? Yeah, really, they call it slash.

And did you know, sometimes they write femme slash, too!

Ha ha, yeah!

Like, maybe Luna and Gini, or Narcissa or Bellatrix, or, oh, you won't believe it, McGonagall and Umbridge! Hahah! No way! Those two?

Sure, why not, everyone needs love...

And thus, eyes meet across the boxes of books, hearts yearn, loins throb, and down on the bookroom floor they fall in love.

Blah blah blah happily ever after.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

You love me. You really do! &hearts &hearts &hearts!

things thaw over an unexpected period and an emergency lend of a tampon,

Do we not understand these things so well? *uses appropriate icon*

[reddwarfer.livejournal.com]

And then she slinked toward the guard. There was only one course of action. She pressed her body against her. Feeling the hard press of the night stick. Moaning, she licked the other woman's throat. The guard through back her head, pleading for more. She happily obiged. She unbuckled the belt, pushed down the guards panties to mid thigh. Pressing her fingers into the guards wet heat, she finally had her where she wanted. Guard thoroughly engrossed in her arousal, didn't hear the sound of a nearby box opening. She kissed the guards neck one more time.

"Yes, so good," She breathed.

Chapter One: Harry kills the Caplocks

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

But...how could she ignore the sound of that box opening??!! *is too Potter-geekish for own good*

[annephoenix.livejournal.com]

Gah Yum **WANT - NEED**

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

I feel this great sense of inevitability, rather than excitement. Destiny, that's the word. The book is almost upon us and there is nothing I can do to change it. Y'know?

[loony-moony.livejournal.com]

Saucy mynx. >:)

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Guilty as charged! XD

[teawithvoldy.livejournal.com]

Fic for amanuensis1

Security lady: *cracks whip* "pack faster bitch."

B&N Lady: "Shut up butch."

Securty lady: "That's it" *throws whip away and luanches at B&N lady.* "I'm going to fuck you hard over these books..."

B&N lady: "Owww... touch me... touch me with your gun..."

And they lived happily

*teawithvoldy runs away, screaming... and stabs her eyes out.*

[loony-moony.livejournal.com]

Holy shit, now I have to spork my eyes.

[sorion.livejournal.com]

That's nothing... The bookshop where I'm going to get my copy has it in their window... I can almost touch it ;-P

And yay to the lady slash... *ggg*

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Oh my god they're gonna get hit up by mad HP fan burglars! GAH!

[ariadneelda.livejournal.com]

Oh god, the BOOK. Delicious femme slash aside, this pic is torture. Makes me want the book NOW. On the other hand, oh I dread the moment I'll have it in my hands. *makes sure she's got LOTS of tissues at home because she's certain she's gonna need them*

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

I know! I'm gonna hyperventilate every single PAGE, wondering if every line is a harbinger of something to come that I dread.

[pocketroxy.livejournal.com]

Honey, I'm looking through this post and responses, and I have to say, you win the contest for the funniest icons evah!

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Hee! Glad you like them! I live for funny icons.

[underlucius.livejournal.com]

The ripped open packet is hidden behind the stacks!

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Where, where? Maybe if I use my ZOOM IN function...

[pen-and-umbra.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, that's such D/s femslash in the making. The stern guard and the poor, oppressed worker. Oh yes. ;P

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Or the jaded guard and the clever, knowledgeable Barnes & Noble worker...

[mereol.livejournal.com]

guard thinks to self: mmmm...girlfriend's wearing those 3/4 inch leggings again today. note the jaunty lift of her left foot just so to show off the tight muscle in her calf. *mentally licks lips*

box stacker thinks to self: i can *feel* her eyes on me. concentrate dammit! just one more box and then that bitch is all mine, oh yeahhhhhhhh....

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Eee hee hee hee! I love how lusty and predatory the both of them are!

[muffytaj.livejournal.com]

I work at a book distributor, we send the books on to libraries so they arrive on the date needed.

But even I didn't get that close to the books. I didn't sign the affridavie or whatever, so no going near the books months early for me. I just played with the posters.

(But you cannot BELIEVE how tempted I was. It was torture! I would have been more than prepared to seduce the guard person to get to the books)

[teawithvoldy.livejournal.com]

do you know anyone who has sneaked a peak at the book?

[switchknife.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD I CAN TASTE THE PAPER

[teawithvoldy.livejournal.com]

and... don't forget that new book smell that only HP seems to have.

an attempt

[http://users.livejournal.com/_hannelore/]

"Are you gonna stare at me like that all day?" Gina snapped as she straightened one of the book stacks on the pallets. She looked over her shoulder and glowered at the rent-a-bitch. "I'm just keeping them from falling over. I'm not about to run off with one of your kiddie books."

The security guard crossed her arms over her chest and didn't say a word. She seemed to be watching Gina's hands, but never raised her fixed gaze to the other woman's face. Gina snorted.

"This is worse than the last time," she said as she looked for the forklift to deliver the next pallet. "Sure there was security and shit, but this is ridiculous."

The guard merely looked in the same direction, but stayed quiet. Gina grinned slyly as she slid one finger under the paper fold that hid the book's cover.

"Hey!"

"Oops," Gina said, a faux bashful hand to her mouth. "Did I do that?"

"Get your hands off the book, ma'am."

"You gonna pull a gun on me for fingering a book?" Gina glanced at the guard, who had put her hand on top of the cover to stop her. "You look like you'd rather have something else fingered than stare at me all day."

"Like that's a bad thing," the guard suddenly smirked as she cupped Gina's crotch. Gina took in a sharp breath and looked up to the cameras that had been especially installed for the unloading.

"But -- "

"What are they going to do," the guard said, all stern appearance dissolved as she slowly rubbed her palm over Gina's crotch. "Watch me make you come?"

Gina's eyes widened as she curled her fingers reflexively, moving into the woman's palm.

They both heard the paper rip.

The guard froze.

"Don't stop," Gina whispered.

"Don't let them see it," the guard said, the smallest glimpse of worry. Her hand never stopped. Gina pushed, rocking into the friction. Riiiiip. The smell of new book was right there, under her fingertips, the shiny newness of the paper sliding under her sweating palm.

The guard snarled and slammed her other hand down over Gina's, but that was all it took to bring friction to completion. She buried the moan into her shoulder, only one shuddering minute before she looked up at the guard. The guard shook her head. But then she smiled.

"Forklift must have ripped it," the guard said smoothly, pushing Gina's hand off the book.

"Yeah," she said weakly. "That must have been it."

Re: an attempt

[gmth.livejournal.com]

LOL, and you had to use *my* name for this???

(Beautiful job, too, by the way. :-))

As you requested...but corny as hell... :D (1/2

[femmequixotic]

"Done this before?" Elena looked up from stacking yet another box of the Potter books on the flat. "Or is this your first go-round with Pottermania?"

"First time." Maria folded her arms and shivered. Fucking warehouse was cold for June.

Elena laughed and stepped over to the next flat. "Gets crazier. Just wait--some of those fans are nuts, you know. Start skulking around the warehouse, trying to get jobs just so they can sneak a peek at the first few chapters." She gave Maria a curious look. "Do you believe in magic?"

Maria snorted. "I'm from North Jersey. Do I look like I believe in magic?" She eyed the stacks of books. "Just kid stuff anyway."

"Yeah." Elena stretched, fists pressed to the small of her back. "Christ, these fuckers get heavy."

Maria tried not to notice the way the t-shirt stretched tight across Elena's breasts, or the way her nipples, hard from the chill air-conditioning, puckered the black jersey. "Want some help?"

"Does it break a rule?" Elena smiled. "Aren't guards supposed to just watch?"

Maria picked up the next box. "Fuck the rules." Her gaze drifted down to Elena's full mouth. She looked away, cheeks flushed, and set the box down again.

She turned and Elena was there, next to her, pressing her into the stack of boxes. "Fuck 'em?" she asked, tossing her hat aside. It fell to the concrete floor, skittering beneath a wooden flat.

Maria breathed out, blinking slowly, as Elena traced a finger lightly over her bottom lip. "Yeah," she whispered, her hands curling around Elena's hips, drawing her closer. "Fuck 'em."

The kiss was soft at first, featherlight, and then Maria opened her mouth with a quiet sigh and Elena pressed in, and it was lips and tongues and teeth, and somehow--Maria was never certain how, her shirt was open, badge knocking against her shoulder and Elena's mouth was on her breast, sucking her through the thin cotton of her bra and then the bra was pushed aside, fabric cupping under her tit and Elena's tongue was licking her nipple and Maria moaned, arching up into the wet caress.

Elena pulled at Maria's trousers, hand sliding over the warm skin of her belly, curving into the scrap of damp silk.

"You're wet..." Elena looked up in surprise.

"Just do it. God," Maria groaned, pressing her hips forward. "I've been watching your damn hands all morning..."

A laugh and Elena kissed her again, hard and wet and warm, as her fingers slid under the soft panties to skim across the softer silk of her skin, over the coarse curls to her wet slit, and Maria closed her eyes, grabbing at the stack of books behind her as Elena's fingers slid through her, against her, slick skin on skin, and oh, God--

The smell of paper and ink and cardboard mixed with pussy and sweat and--her eyes flew open.

Something tingled over her skin, tiny sparks of blue-white and gold, shimmering in the air between them and Elena's eyes gleamed at her and surely she couldn't be--no, her hair wasn't growing bushier and nutbrown, skin paling, body lengthening--this was mad--and then Elena's fingers twisted just there and Maria's knees shook and another twist and--

Re: As you requested...but corny as hell... :D (2/2)

[femmequixotic]

"Christ!"

She twisted under Elena's hand, pressing up against her, fingernails digging into the boxes, leaving long scars in the white corrugated cardboard, and she came with a sharp sob, her body trembling.

She looked up at Elena-who-wasn't-Elena-anymore. "What the fu--"

Elena kissed her then, cutting her off, and pushed Maria's dark hair back from her forehead. "Magic." Her voice was gentle, tinged with the elegant softness of a British accent. "You should believe, Maria."

She stepped back, her fingers trailing over Maria's sallow cheek. "Always believe."

And with a crack, she was gone.

Maria sank to her knees, her trousers still gaping open. "Elena?" she whispered.

The silence of the warehouse echoed around her.

She looked at the stack of boxes, bit her lip. A quick glance around the empty warehouse and she jerked the box open, pulling out one of the heavy books. She caressed the cover, fingers smoothing over the embossed title as she slid down to sit cross-legged on the hard concrete floor. The edge of a black baseball cap poked out from underneath the flat. Maria picked it up, turning it in her hands. It shimmered for a moment, the embroidery twisting around to ask Do you believe in magic?

Maria smiled and pulled the hat down onto her forehead. "I do."

She flipped open to the first page.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_riz/]

::dies laughing:: Only in HP fandom.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Only? Heh heh, you're probably right.

[gmth.livejournal.com]

Only you, man... *loves on this post like whoa*

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

It HAD to be. And, look, I got all sortsa great versions! One with YOUR name, snorty snort snort!

[dark-eyed-amy.livejournal.com]

*fucking DIES*

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

It had to be. Someone has to promote this kinda naughtiness!

[bansheeqwn.livejournal.com]

LOL!!!!

Once a slasher....always a slasher!

BTW. My DELUXE edition pre-order better be in there! OR ELSE...I'll probable cry!

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

My deluxe pre-order's coming from Amazon, so, yeah! Better be out there in the stratosphere somewhere!

[dphearson.livejournal.com]

I love you :)

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Aww, dear one, I love you too!

[srichard.livejournal.com]

*laughs* I suppose I could adapt that piece of femmeslash I was writing about the two gas station workers in a small town on the night shift...

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Eee, dooo it, do it! (Or at least let me see the other!)

[antou-san.livejournal.com]

those boxes with HP fonts are soo cute *_* and I'm so happy coz this will be the first time for me to read the original book, while other italians have to wait for January at least....*mwahahaha*
Too bad on 16th I'll be studying hard for an exam ;_; I'll have to wait some days and...OH GOD!!!!!!!!!! It occurs to me now that around 20th of July we'll leave for holidays..and that beautiful community of yours? noooooooo .____.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Well, you can come into the community later, if you want, and see if anyone's discussing the thing at that time! Less feasible, I know, but, thought I'd mention it. ^_^