*facepalming at my own chutzpah*

[amanuensis1]

Ha. Just when I thought I'd caught up on lj stuff. I can't resist this one, I can't. Meme gacked from maeglinyedi and blackdracaena (so I'd better get it in before everyone else has already done it and you're all bored of it!):

If I were yours and you could have your way with me, what would you do?

(and if your answer makes me all blushy I reserve the right to just giggle and not form a coherent response, and if the answer involves dismemberment there's definitely gonna be some weird looks.)

Comments

[bookshop.livejournal.com]

If I were yours and you were mine. Well.

Erm.

There would definitely be much roleplaying of scenes from ...Tigers to Butter.

*runs away*

[fallingfortruth.livejournal.com]

Does putting you in a nice, comfy room and plying you with chocolate until you consented to write the long, melodramatic and smut-laden OT3 (That'd be Draco/Ron/Harry, and all other permutations thereof) that I've been wanting to read since I saw Rupert and Tom in the PoA trailers sound good to you?

[maelwaedd.livejournal.com]

I'd make you let me beta.
:)

Gee, I'm unoriginal.

[spiderine.livejournal.com]

I'd make you write a happy-ending follow-up to "One Piece of Parchment" because it traumatized me. I had random wibble fits for DAYS over that one!

Okay, I don't really mean that. It's a good thing, you know. The traumatizing. It means you accomplished what you set out to do. I wouldn't really truly want you to change a word. But if you were *mine* I might indeed chain you to a desk and make you write happy shmoopyfic to make up for it. :)

[glitterdemon.livejournal.com]

I'd lock you in a room with only your personal writing accouterments and not let you out until you'd written an epic evil!Sirius/Remus based off of your drabble. MUAHAHAHAHA! Erm.

[noblerot.livejournal.com]

If you were mine, I'd have you write crossover Baby-Headed Deatheater/Captain Hook slash.

And I'd make you like it.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

I would make you write Sirius Black's revenge for "Blood for a Parched Tongue," and, because Severus is STILL cooler than Sirius, I'd have you make Severus turn the tables halfway through the revenge, and make Sirius enjoy it.

*fans self*

Hm. Are you accepting bribes?

[resonant8.livejournal.com]

I? Would give you a list of my squicks and force you to sign a pact in blood strawberry sorbet that you would stay away from them for a year, so I could actually read your stories.

In exchange for which, I would shower you with rose petals, chocolate mousse, espresso, attractive massage therapists, or whatever form of inspiration suited you best.

[just-clodia.livejournal.com]

Make you write only Lucius fics where he slaps people around.

[cluegirl.livejournal.com]

I would drag you off to a coffeeshop on a regular basis and make the natived give Snape Eyebrow at all the incoherent giggling and innuendo-laden instructions we'd be giving to the decorative little barista boys -- including, but not limited to, green mai tai umbrellas in our cafe latte's, Harry Potter Doujinshis, and foot rubs.

Alternately, I would drag you off to explore NYC's Goth clubs with me, because at least you like the music too, and I hate exploring a new place alone! And there is always delightfully androgynous eyecandy at a good Goth club!

So there.
Mneah.

[ellen-fremedon.livejournal.com]

I would chain you to a desk and make you write an all-smut sequel to "A Little Touch of Harry in the Night" with lots of Snape/Harry/slave!Draco action the HP-smut recasting of "The Tempest."

Wait, no, I'd make you write *both*.

[lyricalnights.livejournal.com]

Feed you cookies and beg for pr0n. (Aren't you lucky I'm kind-of a power sub?)

[idlerat.livejournal.com]

I would be so very very good to you, baby.

[maartexx.livejournal.com]

You'd write a fic just for me!

But until that day, I'll go along being happy to read the ones you've already written.

[cindysilver.livejournal.com]

I'd gift you with liquor and chocolate until you wrote a nice, long, beautiful and dark and angsty Trio-smut Hurt/Comfort piece, set directly after the end of "Other Chambers, Darker Secrets". Which is my favorite of your pieces, by the way. *muah* Great stuff. Creepy and I was a little ashamed that I enjoyed it as much as I did. ;)

[prillalar]

Ooh, I'd get you drunk and make you sing karaoke.

[lakesrith.livejournal.com]

If you were mine and I could have my way with you, I would take you to the beach. We would talk long into the night, sitting next to the shore with our feet dangling in the surf. The wind blowing your hair about, the gentle moonlight caressing your cheek, the feel of gritty sand shifting under your hands. I would show you the constellations and tell you the legend of Pegasus, and Hercules.
Then once you are properly seduced with anticipation glinting in your eyes I would take you to my house. When you are quite comfortable I’d get the handcuffs out and bind your hand to the railing. With your eyes full of shock I then proceed to thrust a pen and paper under your nose and not let you leave until you’ve written a proper length Snarry fic!

[exbentley]

Good god, that deserves a fic-length response.

[naltariel.livejournal.com]

I'll force you to write more denial fics and boast gleefully at my Lj that amanuensis had written me MANY MANY yummy fics, but no dear, you CAN'T take a peek.

I wonder if I'll be still alive and in one piece after that.

[sodomite.livejournal.com]

There are too many things I want to do to you. ^^;

[glockgal.livejournal.com]

If you were mine, I'd let everyone know I owned you and gloat over it for days. In the meantime, you and I would watch tons of movies and drink lots of coffee (or your hot beverage of choice or lemonade) and we'd conspire together to create something so cool that after we finally complete it (which;ll take months or hopefully years), we'd have to have sex dance to let loose our overwhelming glee and pride.

Then, I'd give you a sock.

[absynthia.livejournal.com]

<3 U!!

(Dang... now I have to somehow top this response!! heheh)

[glockgal.livejournal.com]

We should just make it a threesome...co-ownership of la amanuensis? *wiggles eyebrows*

[absynthia.livejournal.com]

Oooh yes!

But I fear she will have the best of us. She will be the Harry to our Snape and Lucius and it will be just like Tigers to Butter (or No Good Happy Buttered Tiger as I now call it) all over again...

Still. I'm game. :D

[glockgal.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, yes! It's all "Fine you can have her, but she's mine tomorrow! Grrr! All mine!" and "That's just not enough! I must find a way to steal her from that conniving Glock!"

And then she's all "Heh heh heh. That's right you fools, fight for me. Fight like the greedy monkeys you are! Tee hee! I mean - muhuhwahahaaaa"

Oooh, this plot is getting nefariously out-of-hand. And yet, I can't! Stop!

[absynthia.livejournal.com]

*sigh*

Wait! I have the solution to this conundrum!
*evil mastermind face*

I can have you BOTH! muahahahhaa
I will be a good Mistress. I will let you play with each other create beautiful illustrated stories together while I sit back and watch. I will pamper you both with everything your little hearts desire and will hand feed you grapes from my fingers and milk and honey from my cupped palm.

You're not lactose intolerant, are you? ;)

I would be selfish

[smaragdgrun.livejournal.com]

Because I wouldn't make you write. You see, stories can be shared with others. No, I would keep you all to myself, and just make you talk dirty to me all the time.

Random whispers as we pass in the hall, and maybe snippets on the back of grocery receipts. All for me. Strange emails that I read during business meetings. Long, rambling voicemail messages. Hot-and-bothered chat sessions when I'm traveling. Only for me.

Long, lucious, decadent scenes where all I know are words, words, words...

[arachnethe2.livejournal.com]

You really want to know? BWAHAHAHA!

[lerah99.livejournal.com]

Everyone else wants you for your writing, but I want you for your body. I would do naughty and wicked things to you until we were both happily sated.

If afterward you just happened to write some hot Harry/Lucius hurt/comfort, non-con smut, I would see it as a happy side effect.

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

We would go to Hawaii together and lie on the beach and write smut on our laptops and giggle at each other's stories and eat chicken satay and make up drabbles and drink too many dacquiris and go swimming and braid each other's hair and rub sunscreen into each other's back and giggle some more and slash all the cute hotel guests and kiss in public and chat on the wireless net to our friends HA HA WE ARE NAKED IN HAWAII AND YOU AREN'T LOVE AMY AND ICE!!1!

[goingxmissing.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha!! Erm...lots of kinky things involving chocolate, whipped cream and ropes. And eyeliner.

Ooooh, yes...

[absynthia.livejournal.com]

For once in my life, I was sooo happy when I woke up to my empty wine bottle and muddled head this morning -- because I found that the reply I made to this thread late last night was NOT actually posted, but still sitting here waiting on my screen!! hahahaha

*deletes*

I will just say -- you have a wonderful imagination. I would let you be in charge. ;) You could even chose the accompanying soundtrack.

But ok... I *would* put my foot down and definitely insist that you come to the con in Orlando in July. Because I really want a good excuse to go and that would definitely be it. And like... Disneyworld?! And Harry Potter? How can anyone say no to that?

[rane-ab.livejournal.com]

I'd feed you a box of Belgian chocolates for strength then release you so the rest of your minions admirers can have their way with you. ;-)

[lycoris.livejournal.com]

Hide you in my wardrobe and make you write Lucius/Severus and Severus/Harry until you died! ^_^

[xxbulletwingsxx.livejournal.com]

Four words:

Sensual, Chocolate and Tickly Quills

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Yup, you say a lot with a little, too! (see later post, (http://www.livejournal.com/users/amanuensis1/58954.html) hee!)

[(Anonymous)]

I'd cover you with choclate and lick it off while I force you to write smutt fanfic.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Ooh, whoever you are, you're naughty! But I like your ideas!