amanuensis1 | KR Drabble Night, Feb 7, 2004

Whee! Bestiality night in the chatroom. Most of these are silly, but there is explicit stuff and a bit of teh ebil, hee.

Remus/Neville. First date jitters. (challenge by

nimori)

"HARRY!"

The door slam already had Harry jumping a meter. There was no need for Neville to shout.

"You bloody prick! How could you not tell me?"

Harry stared. No, he was goggling. "W-what?...You can't mean..."

"That's exactly what I mean. How could you fail to tell me THAT?"

Harry'd heard of disastrous first dates, but he was becoming aware that this might top them all. "Nev! I don't believe you didn't know! You--you were the one who told him you wanted it to be on the night of the full moon! You were making all those obvious howling noises!"

Now Neville stared. Then his face screwed up as if he'd gotten a lemon furniture-polish Every Flavor Bean.

"Oh, for god's sake, I didn't mean THAT. Harry..." He leaned close. "Moony's into foodplay. Eeuuuch!"

Charlie/Norbert. Can't stand the heat. (challenge by

gmth)

Norbert likes to sleep in Charlie's tent during the hottest part of the day. That surprises Charlie. Dragons should love the heat, are usually at their most active around noon.

Not that he's going to kick the little Ridgeback out. Norbert is really quite sweet. Charlie doesn't get to work with the babies as much.

One day he's awakened from his own noontime nap by his scaly little tentmate.

At first, Charlie thinks he might cry out--no one want's a Dragon's claws that close to his family jewels--but Norbert's egg claws still have their shell-cracking bluntness to them, and they can be felt through Charlie's blanket and pants just so, and the look in those slitted eyes tells him that Norbert is anything but an innocent baby, now.

And bloody clever, with those claws.

Charlie takes the long way--the very long way--getting him safely to Romania.

Harry/Squid - What else happened in the lake? (challenge by

lurvesnape)

"You haff a water beetle in your hair, Herm-own-ninny," said Krum.

And Harry, you've got a sucker mark on your neck, Ron thought, but didn't say, one arm still draped about Harry's shoulders. What on earth had gone on down there?

When Cho Chang didn't give Harry any secretive looks during the next week, however, he assumed he must have been wrong. But then he saw Harry changing for bed, and saw more of the marks on his back. And the one on his neck had all but healed.

Hermione? Ron felt sick. The little Delacour girl? No, that was even sicker. And she wasn't around anymore, anyway.

So who the hell could it be?

"Do you know," Harry said, plopping down next to Ron for breakfast the next morning, "I think I'm acquiring a taste for gillyweed."

And Ron found out just how painful it was to inhale porridge.

Voldemort/Nagini. Courting rituals of the damned. (challenge by

nimori)

"It's not my fault," Voldemort grumbled, "if I have certain...snake-like qualities now."

Nagini, coiled upon his lap, rubbed her scaled head against his hip encouragingly.

"And just how can any man be expected to go without, may I ask, for the rest of his immortal life? Not going to happen, I say!"

Nagini flickered her tongue against her master's knuckles in sympathy.

"Just because none of my followers have--had--the anatomical design to accommodate me..."

Here Voldemort looked down at his two-pronged member, raised and randy as ever, which had proved the end of each and every Death Eater--with messy results, for those who had tried to submit to penetration, or clean ones, when their inability to orally satisfy their master had left him raving and casting Death Curses left and right.

He petted the only one who had proved compatible.

"Just you and me, kid."

Nagini preened.

Harry/Blast-Ended Skrewt, Handle with care (challenge by

maeglinyedi) A/N: Maeglin said this one would be a silly challenge. I immediately decided to make it as angsty as I could, just to be contrary. 'M like that.

"Impedimenta!" shouted Harry. "IMPEDIMENTA!"

The spells bounced off harmlessly. Harry had to get past! Fleur might be out of the running, but Cedric was already ahead of him; he had no time--

The skrewt pounced.

Was on top of him.

The underbelly! Harry thought. The only side vulnerable to spells; if he could bring up his wand--

Harry suddenly discovered why the skrewt had allowed its underside to be exposed.

And that this particular skrewt was definitely, undeniably male.

He fought. He screamed. Clothing tore. So did flesh.

And Cedric found himself alone in a graveyard, bewilderedly clutching the Triwizard Cup, as Harry lay dying, a Blast-Ended Skrewt embryo eating him from the inside out.

Padfoot/James, Old habits die hard. (challenge by

maeglinyedi)

"Sirius." James rolled his eyes. "You keep forgetting. You can only reach to do that when you're in animagus form."

Sirius stopped trying to get his leg behind his head and his mouth to his crotch. "Oh, right." He stretched out with a leer. "So...wanna help?"

"Merlin, you're ready for it every minute, aren't you?...I like that in a man." Matching Sirius's leer with his own, James slid onto the bed next to him, turning Sirius onto his belly and pushing his legs apart. He parted the eager cheeks, let his tongue tantalize the musky pucker between them as Sirius moaned, then moved to mouth the heavy, silken weight of the balls.

Which were abruptly a good deal hairier than usual.

"Plfftht!" He spat short dog hairs off his tongue. "SIRIUS!"

"Sorry!" Sirius yelled as he transformed back. "It's a reflex, what can I say!"

Current Mood: oddly refreshed
Current Music: I'm Too Sexy For My Cat