Draco/Hagrid. From "LMAO" to "Well, maybe" to "Dear GOD"

[amanuensis1]

dphearson wrote a three-part Draco/Hagrid smutlet in this thread on my lj.

She is a force for chaos, yes, but I'm not sure if she should be stopped.

Comments

[switchknife.livejournal.com]

*sputters incoherently*

*goes off to read*

[switchknife.livejournal.com]

Holy. Bloody. HEEEEELLL.

I've just asked her to let me archive it.

It's brilliant.

I'm squicked beyond belief and, inexplicably, aroused.

I can't believe it.

Thank you.

I will now admit myself to St Mungo's.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Three cheers for the voices of chaos!

Shove over, I brought my own straightjacket. ^_^

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

It lessens the pain when you share it!

[Harry Potter] Dr. Thistle-Chaser sputters. | Of course, Hagrid was half giant, but still- the sight of it still boggled Draco's young mind. It was enormous- simply huge, all a rather pretty orchid-like pink and veiny, emerging out a soft cloud of dark hair. It did not look like an ordinary prick; it seems some wonderful exotic creature.
[Harry Potter] Chia sobs! No, no... I don't want to hear this... I don't wanna know 'bout Hagrid's thing...
[Harry Potter] Chia cries.
[Harry Potter] Dr. Thistle-Chaser | "Argh! Well, and yer not the first one to goa-peeking at Hagrid, and suspect yer won't be the last. Well there laddy, ye came for a show, so here it is."
[Harry Potter] Dr. Thistle-Chaser laughs. This is so wrong! | But now, it wasn't just hanging there, sad and pink. It stood up now, up and up and impossibly thick. The veins seemed like cord, and there was a beautiful glistening flush right at the top, like an magically odd sundae.
Which Draco really, really wanted to lick.
[Harry Potter] Chia says, "Stop! Make it stoooop!"
[Harry Potter] Dr. Thistle-Chaser laughs. My brain! My brain! | There were no sounds, other than the occasional "Aye, that's it" and "Ohh, that's sweet" and the wet sounds of suction.
[Harry Potter] Chia says, "Stop! Stop! That's -so- wrong! Not Hagrid! Gods!"
[Harry Potter] Chia, scarred...
[Harry Potter] Dr. Thistle-Chaser | And at that, Draco exploded in his pants.
After.
Hagrid gave him a good cleaning up, a kiss on the head, and a ginger rock cake.
"Now, don'yt be a peeker! Feel free to come in after classes!"
The rock cake...wasn't bad.
[Harry Potter] Dr. Thistle-Chaser says, "The end!"
[Harry Potter] Chia sits in a corner, twitching and crying and rocking herself slowly.
[Harry Potter] Dr. Thistle-Chaser cackles.
[Harry Potter] Chia whimpers. Oh my mind... my poor, poor mind...

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

No, I was never particularly keen on hearing about Hagrid's thing either. But now it's done, and what shall we do? *strikes dramatic pose* We cannot go back to that happier, innocent time, no...

(this was really funny! Thank you for posting it!)

[reposoir.livejournal.com]

I think I have now been scarred for life.

*How* will I be able to read a HP book ever again after the imagery! All I'll see is Hagrid and....more Hagrid ;)

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

All I'll see is Hagrid and....

..."little Hagrid"! (Who really isn't all that little!)

Arg!

[kaiz.livejournal.com]

She is a force for chaos, yes, but I'm not sure if she should be stopped.

This rare brand of chaos should be encouraged whenever it appears!

Most definitely!

[naltariel.livejournal.com]

*DIES*

[slinkhard.livejournal.com]

I saw it said Draco/Hagrid. Yet I continued to read. What is wrong with my head?!

[rivetcat.livejournal.com]

forces of chaos, ra ra ra!

i wonder if it means i'm defective that i didn't have squick problems with this.

but then, i've been seriously charmed by Hagrid/Snape lately, so perhaps i'm developing a Hagrid!sex immunity.