amanuensis1 | (Embarrassing) FICLET: At Least It's Not "Serena." Snape/Harry.

snapetoy told me I was very very bad for not bringing enough Slasher buttons for everyone. And that that required Punishment Fic to be written. The topic of which she would dictate. If you've met Toy, you know that you nod and say "Yes dear!" when given such an admonition. ^_^

What did she ask for?

Snape/Harry. Fluffy. Happy ending. (They could both be dead at the end but they had to be happy.) Must include: Pecans. Vegemite. NO peanut butter. Rimming. And a magical allergy.

So.

snapetoy, the allergy's mundane and the rimming is implied, but here it is. It's your own fault for combining fluff and no peanut butter and allergies--there was instantly one thing I thought of.

At Least It's Not "Serena." Snape/Harry. Big fat honking warnings for FLUFFY MPREG BWAH HA HA HA HA!!!
About 600 words. Rated L for Loopy.

"So what are we supposed to do with seven jars of Vegemite?" Harry gave the pantry a disgusted look.

"Victoria doesn't tolerate a feeding well if I eat it." Snape shifted the infant to his shoulder, not bothering to lay down a nappy, Harry noted. It wasn't as if his house robes didn't already bear stains impossible to number. "And I've rather gone off it since she was born."

"I haven't. Quite." Harry swept six of the jars into the bin, setting the reserved one back on the pantry shelf. "No sense in going overboard, though. What do you want for lunch? I can fix it and put Victoria down so you can have a lie-down."

"I'm not particularly hungry." On Snape's shoulder, Victoria made smacking noises as her back was patted.

"Hey, you're the one who insisted on br--nursing," Harry amended, the other word still too disturbing. "So you need to get the calories." He scanned the other pantry shelves. "We've got ever nut butter known to mankind, from pecan to tiger nut...though we still appear to be mysteriously out of peanut butter."

"Better for Victoria if I avoid it, they say." The words were muffled against the baby's blanket tucked close under his jaw.

Harry shrugged. "Two almond butter sandwiches and tea it is, then. If we have tea."

The corner of Snape's lip Harry could see curled up in the familiar sneer. "And to think I once liked your cooking."

To his credit, Harry only allowed it to be the smallest of pauses in his movements, knowing Snape would see it nonetheless. "Look, don't tease. I really am trying, Severus."

Snape didn't look at him--even as his face sobered, his attention remained on Victoria. "Moodiness, I'm led to understand, is my prerogative. Will you demand that I give that up? Churlish of you." Victoria's smacking noises were now gurgles.

Harry slapped almond butter onto another slice of bread, mentally assigning the sandwich with the heel to himself. "It's just...I'm tired too, and I want to do my best for Victoria, and for you, and the pantry's got nothing but vegemite and and nut butter and...and I know you weren't trying to be cruel but I'm sorry, okay? I am."

For a while Harry thought perhaps Snape wasn't going to answer--hadn't really been able to listen. What were the half-arsed apologies of your useless spouse when a full-bellied babe was trying to burp up gas on your shoulder?

Then Snape said, turning his face slightly so that Harry could hear what he said, "You are doing your best for Victoria. Do you think I of all people would miss that? I'd rather face Voldemort all over again than endure going through this alone."

Harry hadn't missed the omission. But he looked at Snape, and at the grumpy wee mass on his shoulder, and thought perhaps he didn't need more than that.

"As for me..." Snape said quietly, "Almond butter is, as you say, rich in calories and quickly prepared and eaten. Which means it leaves us time to attend other needs."

Harry paid attention. "Yeah?"

"Once we put Victoria down, we might have as much as three hours before she wakes. All of which I would like to spend in bed. Most of it sleeping. Most, mind. Will you join me?"

Harry felt his mouth go dry. "I--God, yes."

His attention was still on Victoria, but Snape smiled. "Good. And, Harry? Rescue one of those jars of Vegemite, if you still fancy the stuff. And bring it to bed."

Victoria burped.

-fin

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