Random drabble! SS/RL and some silliness.

[amanuensis1]

Can't quite recreate the gist of what spawned (heh) this--it involved Snape, and Lupin, and Snape/Lupin, and mpreg, and the postpartum behavior of werewolves, and...well, I didn't exactly write this so much as compile it. It belongs to me, gmth, maeglinyedi, fluffyllama, nimori, and blackdracaena.

---

"Morning. Any of that chocolate chip ice cream left in the icebox?"

"You and your untimely cravi--"

The tea mug slipped from Severus's hands and shattered on the floor.

"You're...you're..."

"Hm?" said Remus, barely sparing the mess of shattered ceramic and hot water a glance. "Oh, yes, that."

"'That'? Lupin, you're--you've--"

"Father of my children and he still calls me by my last name," Remus said, shooting a winning smile over his shoulder before returning to rummage in the freezer.

"Ch-children, plural?"

"Why, yes." Remus--the clearly-no-longer-pregnant Remus--turned back from the icebox, chocolate-chip-festooned prize in hand, and crossed to the drawer for a spoon.

"You had them? This morning?"

"Functional term is 'whelped.'" He swallowed ice cream before continuing. "All six of them."

Seveurs realized he'd better sit. "Are they--upstairs?"

"Ah. Not exactly. I ate them."

Severus hadn't believed his jaw could fall farther, but clearly something had prompted Remus to shrug one shoulder and say, "Well, it's hungry work, you know. Mmm. Ice cream's great for afters."

*****

Comments

[laura-the-auror.livejournal.com]

Aaaaaaagh SQUICK! And that's just for the mpreg. Brilliant.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Multi-squick! I win, I win! XD

[wikdsushi.livejournal.com]

Damn. Six puppies, and he still had room for ice cream!

Hee hee hee, poor Severus. *grin* Somehow, I suspect it'll be a while before he'll go to sleep without a silver bullet to hand.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

I can see the sweat on his brow already! Tee hee.

[cyanei.livejournal.com]

O.I

That, m'dear, is an expression of utmost fear. (It is, in fact, a typo, but I thought it was particularly fitting.)

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

I like it and declare it standard!

[ntamara.livejournal.com]

oh that was.... insane?

brilliant though! *g* good one, didn't see it coming, much like Snape I'm sure :D

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Poor Snape! Strangely, I have no sympathy for the babies. What's wrong with me?

[violetfishy.livejournal.com]

Best. Mpreg. Ever.
There is no more to say!

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

*giggles madly with you*

[noirenails.livejournal.com]

...

.......

*explodes*

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

*wipes up mess sheepishly*

[underlucius.livejournal.com]

when I've finished laughing I shall have to wipe the screen clean of coffee. This is the only mpreg I've ever liked.

You fiend.

xxx

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

I'll get it in everyone's repertoire yet, I will! Hee.

[ptyx.livejournal.com]

Argh! Eeeewwwwwww! *dies*

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear! Sorry about the death thingy 'n' stuff. ^_^

[loony-moony.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHA WTF HAHAHAHAH! WHELPING! BABY EATING!REMUS! I LOVES IT! *smooches you SO LOUDLY*

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

*goes down under the smooching assault delightedly*

[meredyth-13.livejournal.com]

You really shouldn't do things like that to a woman my age - wetting one's self is so bad for the dignity. And I had to die laughing quietly as ausmac is asleep in the guest bedroom.

You are wicked, evil, totally deranged - probably why I love your work. Many thanks for the serious laugh (and for the look on my husband's face when I told him about it - he was flossing at the time - not a pretty result). *g*

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

I LOVE to hear about the looks we get from the mundanes! Thank you so much!

[jeddy83.livejournal.com]

*wipes monitor*

You know this really should have come with a warning. :D

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

"Warning: No drinking while reading"? A little pretentious, maybe, but I suppose it would spare some monitors...

Hahaha!

[jabez-fics.livejournal.com]

Remus is the cutest Big Bad Wolf ever. The babies come out of his tummy... and then they go back in. Of course. It makes perfect sense...

Re: Hahaha!

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Oh, the logic huuuuuurts. Hee!

[sookail.livejournal.com]

LMAO

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

*giggles*

[sine-que-non767.livejournal.com]

OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! *scrubs brain*

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

*hands you brillo pad*

[arachnethe2.livejournal.com]

I'm howling from laughter! Eating children - Snape's ultimate dream and Lupin beats him on it!

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

JEALOUS Snape! Oh, that's too good.

[glockgal.livejournal.com]

I WANT TO HAVE and eat ALL OF YOUR BABIES!!!

Oh my god, talk about being an excellent start to my New Years, and you made it. This is just the tip of the hilariously happy ice berg, baby. I love you. I made my sister read this and she died laughing, procliming your awesomeness. *covers you in kisses*

AAAAHAHAHAH! Oh my god, you! And! I, Oh. *clings to your leg and never lets go*

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

"I want to have and eat all of your babies" is now going to be the ULTIMATE in compliment phrases and I never shall believe anyone is serious in their admiration unless that phrase is used. Oh, my god. Love you, baby. Love love love LOVE you!!!

[humantales.livejournal.com]

This is just plain evil! I love it.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Really glad! A little evil never hurts--not in fic, 'nyways. ^_^

[chthonya]

Excellent. :) Why can't all mpregs end like this?

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Ah, then we'd get spoiled. ^_^

[soawen.livejournal.com]

"We have to talk about this." Severus sat the tea down carefully and began to pluck a scone apart.

"It just happens," Remus consoled him. "We can try again, if you-"

"That's not it."

"Maybe you could try telling me what you're upset about instead of me having to guess?"

"That." Snape pointed to the empty ice cream box on the counter, spoon still in it. "Nine months of catering to your every whim, every hour of the day. And night too, for that matter, and-"

"Aw, you liked that," Remus crooned. "Ickle Sevvie-kins want Mommy to kiss it better?"

"-and you eat our children?" Severus continued, temper rising. "I have worked hard to get fresh were-pups for my potions, and you ate them all, you selfish bastard!"

____


I think I'm behind on telling you I love you ;)

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

*jumps around and toddlerfists* WAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

[cutecoati.livejournal.com]

*rolls on floor in fits of helpless laughter*
you're the mpreg-godess, that's what you are, M'am!

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

I just like to keep havin' a good time with it. ^_^

[veryshortlist.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, this is exactly how Remus mpreg stories should go. Brilliant, simply lovely.

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Yer a glutton for punishment. But I like that in a person! ^_~

[aiji-yuywell.livejournal.com]

First I laughed, then I cried, then I almost was sick. That has got to be the best m-preg ever written in the history of...anything! I tried to think perhaps he didn't really eat them, and is just kidding Sev... but then I shook my head and remembered you wrote it... *is full of love*
XD

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Aww! Now I will have to write the "Just kidding!" sequel. ^_^

[fierceglow.livejournal.com]

Aiiiii! Best mpreg ever!! ♥

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

*giggles & hugs* (Love the icon, btw!)

BLEEP

[rectpropagation.livejournal.com]

That's literally what my brain said when I read this. I can't decide whether my brain beeped because it couldn't come up with a proper expletive or if I'm going to have to reboot my brain.

I mean this in the best possible way.

Re: BLEEP

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Aww, your poor brain! *smooches happily*

[ellid.livejournal.com]

And then there's the scene from a Patrick O'Brian novel where Maturin is dissecting a body with the assistance of a friend, and it becomes quite clear that it's the body of the spy who's been tracking them and making their lives hell for the last few books, and that Maturin shot him earlier that morning.

*snerk*

[amanuensis1.livejournal.com]

Ooh, not sure if I've come that far in the books yet!