Oh, you sweetheart, reading this! Yeah, I conceived it and realized that "Misaki couldn't breathe. He shifted in bed..." was utterly redundant and dull to me. I worry that dialogue-only pieces can make it difficult to sort out who's who, but these two are so different in tone I thought it would work. (And Misaki calls Usami "Usagi-san" every other sentence in the source anyway, so, yeah, that helped.)
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branchandroot
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Date: 2008-11-25 11:50 pm (UTC)