Oh, you sweetheart, reading this! Yeah, I conceived it and realized that "Misaki couldn't breathe. He shifted in bed..." was utterly redundant and dull to me. I worry that dialogue-only pieces can make it difficult to sort out who's who, but these two are so different in tone I thought it would work. (And Misaki calls Usami "Usagi-san" every other sentence in the source anyway, so, yeah, that helped.)