I do understand the difference in level of directness; my point is, the basic interaction is probably something on the order of "Hi, we haven't met; here in a little bit I'm hoping to touch you somewhat intimately," and in the bar interaction, most of the time it also involves an attempt to lower your defenses (by feeding you alcohol), which I think sort of levels the two interactions somewhat. I'm saying they are similar in type and perhaps not entirely different in degree, though clearly they are not identical, and noting that still, there is relatively little outrage about the bar approach except in situations where the woman says no and the man doesn't go away.

Also, as originally posted (and not as many people interpreted--I saw LOTS of people on my flist point to the OP basically saying "this guy thinks he has the right to come up and grab your tits unless you are wearing a sign that says not to," which is not what I read, and then I saw other people pointing at THOSE posts apparently without reading the OP), the option for both parties to determine interaction still exists, though under what many women would find to be a different (and unacceptable) level of pressure. I'm not arguing here that that different level of pressure is irrelevant; I'm merely pointing out because of what I saw in the second wave of rant that the guy never suggested he ought to be allowed to grab unless otherwise noted.