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So, if you were writing a fic that contained necrophilia, and contained chan, would you even bother coming up with a clever title for it or would you just call it "That necrochan fic" and have done?
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Title: Even Closer To Me
Author: Amanuensis
Pairing: Harry/Sirius
Rating: NC-17
Summary: "I dropped it in the Forest," he lies.
Length: About 2,200 words
A/N: Canon-compliant smut. Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] fabularasa for the super-fast beta. The characters are all fictional and thus have no age; I own nothing in the Potterverse and am only imagining.

Even Closer To Me )

(crossposted to insanejournal)
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I keep looking at the trailers for the recent rash of women-in-elaborate-peril horror films such as Hostel II and Captivity and thinking, "Wow. If only that were porn!" I mean, that'd be right up my alley, with the kidnapping and the bondage and the elaborate dungeon scenes, except that I would like some BDSM sex to occur instead of all the, you know, maiming and death.

What's going on with these "horror porn" films--am I just not the audience for this, not much liking horror in general, nor having a sexual fetish for fantasy maiming and killing? If so, fine, fine, to each his/her own. Or is this someone's way of sneaking porn into the mainstream? Because if it's the latter, that bugs me. I don't want my porn metaphored for me in a sex=death analogy, just because our culture can show killing and call it horror, but can't show sex because then we'd have to call it porn and everyone knows porn is, ooh, shameful. Don't metaphor my kinky sex. I'd like the damned kinky sex served up as is, please.
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[livejournal.com profile] violetisblue rocks.

Doctor Who Fanfiction Community for those of us wanting something less vanilla.
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For this week's [livejournal.com profile] beloved_enemies (Harry/Lucius) Dictionary Drabble word of Performance.

Title: Refined Tastes
Author: Amanuensis
Pairing: Harry/Lucius
NC-17, 332 words, non-con/dub-con, conditioning.

("The third time is usually even more satisfying, I find," Lucius murmured.)
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*peeks around* Yeah, I guess I can link to/post this now. This was my [livejournal.com profile] sirry_slash Sirry Santa fic, written for [livejournal.com profile] summerborn.

Title: This Time
Author: Amanuensis
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): Harry/Sirius
Author's Notes: Written for the [livejournal.com profile] sirry_slash 2006 Sirry Santa fic exchange, for [livejournal.com profile] summerborn, who requested, "Harry goes back in time to when the Marauders were still in school. Young Sirius is delighted to meet this stranger, who looks so much like his friend James - but James is straight and the new kid is not, which makes Sirius happy. Or something. Anyway, they get together, at least until Harry goes back to his own time (or does he?). Partially-clothed sex, almost-public sex, anything that has to be kept secret. MWPP-era (time travelin' Harry). James is straight, Sirius is frustrated, who's the stranger? Bonus for Quidditch!"

This Time )
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Three items for a Monday.

1. Because everyone else is talking about Laurell K. Hamilton, I will too. The only books of hers I've read are the first two Merry Gentry books, and the only reason I picked up the second was the hot men in the first book were kind of nice and that maybe the author would abandon the set-up stuff she'd begun with and just write porn from that point, though I admit I was muttering, "S**t, I write better porn than this." And then in the second book, the author was still trying to pretend that there had to be a plot, and that the protagonist's existence as The Least Credible Private Detective Ever had to figure in. Whaa? So I was left griping that this author just didn't know how to write her erotica, darnit.

Which I understand is at odds with how many (most?) of her readers perceive her books--they see them, I guess?, as sexy action/adventure/mystery that has gone way off into the porn direction, to their dismay. I dunno, possibly because it's not good porn either? In any case, she's lost me, trying to make me believe the private detective stuff, and I'm not inclined to move into any of her other series as a result either. There's that Romany saying, "With one set of buttocks, you cannot ride two horses," and I think that applies both to Merry Gentry and Laurell K. Hamilton. Pick a genre, woman.

2. Had my faith in film renewed again this weekend. I read Perfume by Patrick Suskind years 'n' years ago, loved it. Went apoplectic with joy/terror when I heard it was going to be a film at last. Saw it this weekend. LOVED. IT. Perfect adaptation, just perfect. From my very limited dialogue with those who've seen the film, I think that if you've loved the book you are likely to love the film for its faithfulness to the book, but that if you haven't read the book it's chancy. The film may not sell its concept if you don't know what to expect; put simply, you might not buy it. I think a lot of people will go in expecting a period costume murder mystery; I think it will help if you go in to the film understanding that this is a Supervillain Movie. It just happens to be set in eighteenth-century France.

I like how Roger Ebert's review of it raves about how much he's always loved the book, and then goes on to review both book and film as one, so that you can hardly tell which he's praising. And if you're put off by the just-below-fresh rating to which the Rotten Tomatoes collective averages, this efilmcritic review is supposedly one of the "rotten" ones, but it's actually glowing, calling it lurid and excessive in the most enjoyable of ways. (By the way, that's very much how I've described the films Flash Gordon and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, and why I've always called them terrific movies, for doing exactly what they intended.)

3. alskjdf;lasdjfalsjdf lfaslfsldfal;sjf YOU GUYS. I haven't closed that thread window since the post was pointed out to me. Just keep...reading and sniffling and looking around to see who the hell you could be talking about. Oh, you guys. &hearts &hearts &hearts &hearts &hearts
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Hey, am I mistaken, or is there really no male equivalent slang to the term "nympho"? I mean, yes, we can say that "satyr" would be the parallel term, but no one actually uses that in common parlance. I guess that's because the term for "sex-crazed male" is synonymous with "male," isn't it.

I'm starting to understand why I have a kink for fics where Harry and/or Draco call each other "slut" and "whore." Must have something to do with the idea that I've fetishized them into something other than sex-hungry males--they've become characters who can be insulted by insinuating that they might desire sex. Seems odd. A world of psychology and historical sexism in that, isn't there.
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Some meta thoughts for Hero Worship:

An element I noted I was using in this story is the Spoilers for the story )
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Another story for the [livejournal.com profile] pornish_pixies Fantasy Fest.

Title: Hero Worship
Author: Amanuensis
Pairing: Harry/Creevey brothers
Rating: NC-17
Category: PWP
Warnings: Dub-con, unspecified student ages, dirty sleazy porno talk
Summary: They wouldn't do it if he didn't like it.
A/N: Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] gmth for the beta. Written for the [livejournal.com profile] pornish_pixies Fantasy Fest Spring 2006, for this prompt of [livejournal.com profile] silvernighttwin's: Harry/Creevey boys, hogwarts years. innocent naive harry dominated by his obsessive fans. bottom Harry. light bondage/dp/toys/rim/ws welcome humil encouraged. About 2200 words.

Meta for the story can be found on my journal here.

(Click.)
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So, I don't really want to be writing Doctor Who fanfiction; I like reading the occasional bit but I'm not seized to go off from the Potterverse for anything extended, but the non-vanilla Doctor Whofest sponsored by [livejournal.com profile] rainyd made me grin at the concept (Who fanfiction suffers, it seems, from a plethora of nice vanilla porn and not nearly enough kinky filth) and bunnied me a little, so, I figure if I share the idea here it will get the concept off my chest. I imagine this broad snapshot of what is a TARDIS-housed orgy, full of crosstime-fetched companions and a Doctor incarnation or six, plus some good villains, all of them accoutred and moaning and chasing each other about in horny glee, and we learn from the Doctor's (interrupted) verbal observations that the TARDIS's Platonia Drive has failed temporarily; this is the safety feature that insures that all non-Time Lords who travel in the TARDIS are completely uninclined to act on any romantic urges while in the company of the TARDIS's operator, because, y'know, you can't have the Time Lords spreading their offspring through the cosmos and messing with natural genetic drift. And the Doctor estimates it'll be at least eighteen hours before the Drive repairs itself, and there'd be some last line in the story about how he hopes it hurries, because the last time this happened he ended up saddled with a granddaughter (who's probably currently having it off with a Cyberman in gold handcuffs, don't ask).

There, I feel better!
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Random kinky thought:

The current porny fic I'm working on doesn't have a lot that makes it uniquely Potterversian, I recognize, but it has me realizing there's one particular mundane kink the Harry Potter 'verse has which other fandoms don't share so significantly:

Bondage with neckties.

Seriously, isn't that ever so Potterverse, that kink? Just imagine Harry's wrist bound with a length of green-and-silver, for example. Necktie bondage exists elsewhere, of course; it's not absolutely unique--but not with nearly as much significance as that schoolboy/color scheme thing does in Harry Potter fic, doncha think.
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Dear Mr. Verdugo,

If pornography is a crime in which women are the victims, does this mean that gay male porn is okay? Oh, that's a relief.

Love,
Amanuensis

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